On Monday, I had what could have been classified, had I so chosen, to be a no-good-very-bad day. As it turned out, I was so fortunate that it was not.
On my way to work, my drive train, as my car guy said, ‘shredded.’ Under any circumstances, this cannot be defined as a good thing. It is also an expensive thing. However, there were mitigating circumstances that prevented it from turning into a not-good-very-bad-thing.
First: while I had a sinking feeling before things started to fall apart, the real knowledge that something was wrong happened approximately 200 yards from a parking lot at work. I managed to get the car into the lot before whatever was going to go wrong happened. Before heading into work, I put a note on the dash that my car had broken down and that I was calling AAA. (Belonging to AAA is a good idea for everyone, but when you’re a single senior woman, always have AAA.)
Second: when I walked in the door of the Emergency Room, the Registrar was a friend, and most importantly a neighbor. I asked, “can you wait an hour and take me home?” Of course. (My advice is to always make friends and I’ll keep adding, when you’re a single senior woman, always have friends. I have always relied upon the kindness of friends, to paraphrase ‘A Streetcar Named Desire.’ Equally importantly, friends have been able to depend upon me.)
You don’t make friends because they’ll be useful to you. You make those connections because they make your world an infinitely better place. Together you’ll go places you might never go on your own. Relying on your friends’ loving eyes gives you a truer sense of who you are rather than listening to your own harsh judgements. I don’t know about you, but I’m a much braver woman in the company of friends. If you have read any of the posts from the ‘Gladly Beyond’ thread in this series, you’ve seen me plunging into the frigid waters of Antarctica. That’s all my friend Faye’s fault. First, we jumped into the icy Susquehanna River, then we jumped into the Antarctic Sea. Yikes! Life is infinitely more fun with friends. (And when you’re a single senior woman, having fun is one of the healthiest things you can do!)
Third: I was safe at work while I waited. It was simply a lucky coincidence that my car carried me to a safe harbor at my place of employment. I could tell the Guard on duty that my car was inappropriately parked, and why it needed to be there. He took care of informing the parking lot attendant. I calmed myself down, taking comfort in knowing that I would bewarm and in a safe place while I waited for AAA to arrive. (When you’re a single senior woman you’re a lot more aware how much safety means. If I’d been on the road, even though the car had warm clothing in it, I’d have risked exposure to the elements or to danger.)
Fourth: with AAA I had the support I needed to get my car to my repair shop. My Dad was very clear that I should always have AAA, and for as long as I’ve had a car, I have! And, while AAA is reliable, occasionally, it is not fast. I could get to my office, call them, and go about my work for the hour plus it took for them to arrive. Weirdly, the AAA truck came from the car repair shop my parents, my sister, my nephew, and I had all taken our cars to when we lived in Bloomsburg. The guy knew me (and when you’re a single senior woman, coincidences such as this amuse and delight you.).
Fifth: I called my shop. A guy I knew answered, I asked a bunch of questions, he assured me he’d take care of everything and we’d talk tomorrow. This was after I’d asked him how his knee replacement had gone and if the Christmas cruise had been fun. (When you own a 2005 vehicle, and when you’re a single senior woman, you find a repair shop you can rely on where people are happy to see you. I don’t have a Bar “where everyone knows my name,” but at my age and with my knowledge of cars, it’s far more important to have a car place “where everyone knows my name.”)
Now, I’m not going to kid you, it wasn’t fun to pay for. Nobody needs an extra expense headed out the door right after Christmas, but you figure that out, because you have to. Twenty-four hours later, I was driving a repaired and safe vehicle.
As I was picking up the car, the young guy behind the counter looked at me and said shyly, “I’ll bet you’ve had a lot of adventures with that car, haven’t you?” It caught me off guard. But he was right. I have. That Subaru and I have trundled around lots of places She’s particularly fond of upstate NY, CT, and RI.
So, as a single senior woman, what could have been a dangerous situation was simply a rather expensive inconvenience. As the song goes, “I got by with a little help from my friends.” I was safe and was able to do my work which I both cherish and which keeps me able to tackle car bills on credit cards. You don’t form and nurture Connections because you might need help some day. You cherish them as part of the celebration of Life and Peacemaking. However, when an unexpected event and expense comes along, you can rely on the Presence of those Connections. You recognize, and gratefully acknowledge the Peace that grows from that.
That’s what this single, senior woman has to say today — along with Salaam, Shalom, Peace, and Blessed Be!