Many times, what I encounter in the hospital as a chaplain is challenging to deal with: life-threatening illnesses; abuse and neglect; falls and accidents. Add in the mileage walked and the days can be long and wearying. However, there are other days, when astonishing things happen — and, if you’re paying attention, you’re privileged to witness some of life’s most glorious passages. In such moments Peace is passed and community created.
Childbirth is one such thing, and throughout the day, hospital employees are uplifted as the strains of Brahms’ Lullaby sound throughout the hospital. During the day, there are many sweet celebrations of healing and saving lives, and sadder commemorations when life ends. In Joy and Sadness, people reach out seeking and offering comfort and meaning. They reach out, searching for Peace, creating community.
My life’s work has been focused on acknowledging and celebrating those sacred moments in our lives. I studied a wide array of religions; I designed and performed hundreds of rituals and celebrations for people who were blending beliefs and traditions as well as lives. Blessed with friends in many faith traditions, we have sought the places where Life’s demarcations occur to celebrate together. In the midst of a very challenging stretch at the hospital, I was privileged to observe three such passages. In those sacred moments, I observed Peace settling on the community of those involved.
First: a young man in his early 20s announced to his father that he had carried out his wish to inform the medical that no heroic measures were to be made. As promised the father would not be forced to live out the rest of his life “as a vegetable,” (the father’s words). The son was crying and trembling, so sad and frightened, but he had done what was asked of him. His very sick father managed to move through the clouds to open his arms to his son and hold him while he wept. In my head I heard words echoing “my son, today you are become a man.” As awful as this was, the son honored his father and accepted the mantle of responsibility, transferred in that moment from one generation to the next, a father’s Peace becoming his son’s.
Second: a treatment called artic alert may be implemented when someone comes into a hospital post cardiac arrest. Essentially, these patients are put into hibernation, giving the heart a chance to heal and protecting the brain from function loss. With only a 55% chance of success, it’s a miracle when it works. Two weeks after his arrival in the hospital, I walked into this patient’s room, where he was alert and talking. A week later, laughing and crying, he was off to rehab. The couple was very open, so I asked them to walk on the shoreline between the ocean and sand and understand how great a boundary they had come through. (and yes, we cried as well as laughed.) In that moment of community, we were awed, rejoicing in the Peace of unbelievable second chances.
Third: In the hallway, I ran into a patient I had often seen in dialysis. Recently graduated from high school, they were not there as a patient! They were on their way to their first night of work as a Tech; first step in the journey to become a nurse. I confess, I called their pastor and we bawled like babies. Peace, thanksgiving, and community with whom to share.
Each of these moments was a Life Passage, a sacred moment to be acknowledged and celebrated. So too are the sad moments, when I’m invited to stand with families whose beloved are passing, or providing strength and comfort to someone receiving challenging news. All of these moments are focused on Presence and Passing Peace in beloved community.
How often do we miss opportunities to pass Peace? How would life be sweeter, if we found reasons to bear witness and honor those passages? As a nation, we raise so many barriers to celebrating in community. How would it contribute to Peace between and among us if we chose to remove those barriers? How would it heal us into a community of Peace, caring, and honor? What if we tried, you and me? What if we take hands and try? Peace longs for us as much as we long for Peace. Peaceful community, celebrating sacred moments, also awaits with outstretched arms.
Salaam, Shalom, Peace, Blessed Be.